Days, erm 12-14? Yes. That sounds right. PRETZELS! :D

So the past couple of days have been pretty monotonous (hence the not bloggingness of this week!) Healthy eating, sticking to my exercise schedule (which I will post in another blog) and trying to keep my chin up about those pesky little slips and slides along the way 🙂 

I weighed in this week at 14.13st which means I lost 4lbs last week and have officially dropped out of the land of 15st! And it feels great 🙂 Eating habits are starting to become second nature to me now and I am starting to remember how many calories are in certain things without having to scan them into my phone. My stomach feels softer and it may sound strange but I think I am sleeping better…must be the four mile walk everyday huh? 😛 

I have also developed a strange love for pretzels this week. One of my favourite things in the world to snack on were chocolate covered pretzels and my boyfriend, knowing that I have been having a rough week, brought me some. I was about to kick off at him for trying to lead me astray when I realised that he had also bought me some plain pretzels, a handful of which were only 100 calories or so. 

Now that reason I got so excited was because I am a salt junkie. I don’t really miss sugar or bread or cakes or biscuits, but I really do miss salty snacks like crisps and chips. I also miss not smothering my food in salt, which alas, I have not been able to. So pretzels, which are small, salty delicious morsels of carbs are right up my street but because they are so small and salty, I find myself not really being able to eat much more than the assigned handful. So, yay snacks! 🙂 



An offering to the pretzel kings 🙂 




Day 11 – So, I Fell Off The Wagon…Spectacularly.

It was my boyfriend’s mums birthday a few days ago but because of work we only got to meet up today. Which was a bad idea in terms of keeping to my diet. Here’s the run down – my boyfriend is six foot six and weighs nine and a half stone…how right? Well he has a condition that kicks his metabolism into overdrive and even though I kind of envy his ability to eat everything he sees and not gain weight, I know the negative things that come with his condition. This does however mean that his mother never had to regulate anything he ate as a child or a teenager because he didn’t ever stand a chance of being obese. And what is his favourite food, therefore always available at his mums house? Chocolate. And lots of it. And that’s just the beginning.

I started out today with a couple of hard boiled eggs, some wholemeal toast and a coffee. I knew I wasn’t going to get a chance to go on my walk which kind of irritated me but I kept in mind that I have been walking a lot and sticking to my diet plan so all shouldn’t be lost. But having eaten at his mums house before, I voiced my concerns to my boyfriend who didn’t really seem to understand. Which isn’t his fault I guess.

We got to his mums house and I smelled a delicious roast in the oven. And that was it. I had roast pork, potatoes, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, home made yorkshire puddings and gravy. It was probably the best meal I have eaten in almost two weeks and I knew why. It was laden with fat, carbohydrates and delicious added salt. It doesn’t end there either. I then had apple pie, cream and some ice cream that my daughter wanted me to have. I know, I know, blaming a three year old isn’t fair but I was too far gone I tells ya! I rounded it all off with a bar of chocolate and a cupcake. Oh yeah, and a bag of doritos.

I cleared my calorie counter and then some and I have to admit I was feeling pretty down on myself. Until I thought about what I had done earlier on in the day and how good it made me feel. My boyfriend had a meeting so my before we went to his mums house for her birthday lunch (that turned out to be my undoing) I went to the park for an hour or so with my daughter. We hunted for fairies in the woods, climbed up a snow slippery hill and chased each other back and forth across the fields until my boyfriend came and found us.

It wasn’t until I got back to the car and changed my daughters muddy jeans (and recovered the shoe she lost in the mud swamp!) that I realised that I hadn’t smoked in almost two hours. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t consciously realise that I hadn’t smoked and I realised why I hadn’t noticed this time. I hadn’t noticed that I wanted a cigarette because I was having so much fun. I feel better, even if it’s too early for me to look better.

Another thing I noticed was that things don’t happen overnight. My healthy eating habits won’t appear from nowhere and nor will my urge to quit smoking. One small step at a time I am getting closer and if I eat my way into oblivion on the odd occasion when a birthday or celebration calls for it, the rest of the time when I eat well will balance it out eventually. I think people who are trying so desperately to lose weight are too hard on themselves when they cave in, but I think the need to repeat those behaviours once in a while and safely return back to a healthy lifestyle full time without yearning for the bad eating habits, is the real goal.

Supermodels eat chocolate. Hollywood movie stars have burgers now and then. People with perfect bodies don’t deny themselves everything, but they know exactly what they are saying yes to and exactly why they are saying it. They don’t eat food to feel better about themselves, or to comfort themselves into contentedness – they eat food to enjoy it, because lets face it, most of the food healthy living calls for isn’t all that enjoyable.

Having healthy attitudes towards food is in my mind more important than denying yourself everything you want ALL THE TIME. Understanding why you shouldn’t eat certain foods all the time, instead of just telling yourself that you blindly can’t have them is the real progress. And whenever I get down on myself or take a particularly hard knock falling off the wagon I remember that I am doing it for her –


My daughter and best friend, Molly ❤

And that sometimes I should just slow down and forget about the things that scare me, like empty calories and double chins, and remember that once upon a time I was a fearless and thoughtful as my daughter, who is without a doubt, the happiest person I know 🙂


Looking for fairies in the woods 🙂

(regardless of the cold!)

Day 10 – Off The Beaten Path.

So today I went on my four and a half mile walk and I noticed something new about the route I had grown so used to. Halfway in and just starting to pant I saw a gap in a fence where the snow had thawed out. It was the middle of the day and the woods looked pretty dense so I decided to take a look and this is what I found – 


It turned out to be about three miles of completely untouched snow and forest, without so much as a dog paw print to mar it’s surface. And it was breathtaking. 

It got me thinking how much time we spend trying to fit into a certain mould, to be certain people and to look a certain way – to stay on the path and to fear what lays behind fences and through walls. The path I was on was killing me, slowly but surely, it was shaving years off of my life and forcing me to miss out on the things I wanted to do. 

I want to be able to walk into a shop and buy what I want, not what they have in my size. I want to be able to go swimming with my daughter and not have the urge to run past the pool when headed back to the changing room. I want to be able to have my photograph taken from any angle and know that I’m not going to look terrible. I want to be able to keep up with my daughter when she is running rings round me in the park. But most of all, I want to feel better about myself, beyond looks and beyond what the world wants me to be. 

If I walk a different path, I will end up in a different place and today it felt like I had truly started to lose sight of the start of that new path and firmly plant my feet on the road to the real me. And it feels as free as the fields I walked this morning. And just as beautiful. 

Day 8 and 9 – Written on Day 10? Confusing! o_O

So after one day of using the snow as an excuse – I tired of that reasoning. That’s why Sunday night after I blogged I decided that I would plan a walking route that would be at least two miles (therefore four miles by the time I walked back) and would be safe to walk in all weather conditions. So I planned a relatively straight route that runs along a main road and gets some (but not enough to be busy) pedestrian activity. Mainly bikes, which break up the snow really well and then I walked it 🙂

Four and a half miles took me about an hour and twenty minutes and although I was frozen to begin with towards the end of the first two miles I felt hot and wanted to take my jacket off (I didn’t because it was in the negative!). And I loved it 🙂

About two years ago I organised and participated in a 54.2 mile walk from Westminster Abbey in London, to the Pier in Brighton. It took me 18 hours or so to walk it and we raised over £2500 for a charity that helps gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teenagers with coming to terms with who they are and embracing it, a subject that is close to my heart as I have watched my best friend struggle with her sexuality for years. I kind of did it for her. And whilst I was walking I felt that sense of purpose, like I was walking for a reason but this time that reason was me and my health.

I came home, ate a yoghurt at the speed of light and drank about a gallon of water before crawling into the shower for half an hour and getting the sensation back in my toes. That was Monday or Day 8 and I came in (with the 450 or so calories I burned on my walk) under my calorie total by about 120 calories or so! And I wasn’t hungry! Yay 🙂

Yesterday was a little less inspiring. I skipped breakfast AGAIN but this time because I was on the phone to my bank all morning and by the time I finally got off of it I had had three cups of black coffee (2 calories each but still murder on the hydration front) and didn’t feel hungry enough to eat. So I went out and ran my errands with my daughter my my boyfriend, eating half a pack of mini egg chocolates and a rather mammoth sized bite of a chocolate muffin. I finished yesterday with the only other thing I ate which was pizza, french fries and salad. And it was delicious! I also had a quarter of the pizza (instead of the entire thing!) that took my pizza consumption for nearly 1000 calories a sitting to just 220 calories! And I think I enjoyed the pizza more because I had less of it.

So yesterday I finished under my calorie limit by about 390 calories :/ which isn’t good at all really. Today is another walking day, so after my house is clean my breakfast is gone and my lunch is on the horizon I am going to throw myself back out there and walk that four and a half miles again. Then again tomorrow. Then swimming Friday and hiking Saturday 🙂 Exercise doesn’t seem to be my problem – eating most definitely is.

Day 7 – Snow! Curse you snow!

So anyone who lives in Britain can ascertain that the weather has been rather poor of late. How poor? Well this poor – Image

Pretty huh? But pretty hard to jog in too! For the past two days I have been sanctioned away in my house and I was surprised to notice that my feet were itching to go! I wanted to jog and I felt a little stir crazy just doing my weights and stationary bike. So I went for a walk with my friend today and we built a snowman and threw some of the frosty white stuff around and it made me feel a little better 🙂 

I weighed myself today and I had lost around four and a half pounds which is awesome, but I felt like I was stagnating being inside for so long and that if I had had the circumstances to get outside some more I would have done better. Still stoked with my performance and happy to be on the right track. 

I have been using an app on my phone called MyFitnessPro and it acts as a calorie counter and it ROCKS! There is a barcode feature which allows you to scan the products that you are eating without having to type them individually and all that jazz. Today I was 83 calories over what I should have been (I had a yoghurt that was 99 calories because I am a rebel) but that little I can deal with 🙂 

Feeling optimistic and hoping to kick some serious ass once the snow starts to thaw. Swimming hopefully this week but money is tight so if not I will double up on some other exercise. My friend and I have been planning a hike for a while so we will see where this hopefully snow free week will lead. 

And for those of you that think I should jog regardless of the weather – this is my jogging route – 




Day Two – Skipped A Meal – Oops!

Today was my second day and it went pretty well (exercise wise at least). I didn’t struggle at all with my breakfast this morning of – 

  • 75g All Bran, 250ml of soya milk and 1 tbsp of raisins. 
  • Peppermint tea and 500ml of water. 

Actually I woke up kind of feeling hungry for the first time in a long time. Small steps? I think so. I then went swimming for over an hour (half an hour of which was probably productive laps, the rest was spent pissing around with my brother and boyfriend, as well as waving at my daughter who chilled out in the warm baby pool with my Mum!). I got out of that pool feeling drained but happy. Who knew you could sweat in water? Well we do now! 

The meal I skipped was lunch but I decided to bypass it and make it my dinner instead. I took my afternoon snack with me and although I ate it an hour late, it made me perk up after the swim. I had – 

  • 1 blackberry soya yoghurt and four dried apricots. 

I was amazed at how much better they made me feel. After eating a few (and I mean a few!) pink smarties that my daughters godmother had out I decided that enough was enough – I needed real food! The diet plan that I am on calls for no more hunger but today I really felt the pangs of my missed lunch. 

I went shopping and stocked up on fish and chicken for the rest of the week before coming home and preparing my lunch that I decided to have as dinner – 

  • 170g chicken breast, 1/2 a cucumber, 1 tomato and 90g of lettuce dressed with lemon and olive oil. 

As I watched my daughter and boyfriend tuck into cheese and sausage pizza I realised how good the food was making me feel. I didn’t feel sluggish or stodgy and after dinner got straight back up and started my evening chores. I even forgot to smoke! 

I know its too early to tell but I am feeling…well, good. Really good. I did indulge (and thought I could as I missed an entire meal!) and finished off the Boost bar that my boyfriend had bought me that morning (apparently my diet means nothing to him!) out of habit I suppose 😛 

As I went swimming and the weather wasn’t being very kind I decided to skip my walk today and instead I did ten minutes of moderate cycling on my stationary bike and completed one circuit of 1kg weights. My arms ache, my legs are killing me but my tummy feels full and I am more than ready for bed! 

Day One – Yay! :)

So even though I tried to limber myself into my new diet and exercise programme yesterday by loosely following the rules in preparation for today (I had a biscuit, yes just one! and some white chocolate buttons, shh, it didn’t count) today was my first real day! And it went surprisingly well 🙂 

Breakfast was definitely the hardest meal simply because I don’t usually eat it. The meal plan that I am on is relatively carb free so I think by the end of the four weeks I will be following it for (then switching up for a more long term plan) breakfast, where I seem to have the majority of my carbs, will become my favourite meal of the day. Eventually. I hope. 


  • 100g of porridge oats with 150ml of soya milk and 1tbsp of dried cranberries. 
  • 1 blackberry soya yoghurt. 
  • Black coffee and 500ml of water. 
  • 1 kiwi (that I saved and ate later on)

The hardest thing about breakfast was stomaching the consistency of the oats. I don’t know if its because I am a crunch cereal kinda girl but the sloppy grey mess I sat down to this morning didn’t exactly excite me. I read somewhere that you should treat food as a fuel rather than something to be enjoyed – in which case, porridge, yay! 

I was supposed to go swimming today with my daughter just before lunch but the pool closed early so I did ten minutes on my exercise bike (alternating two minutes intense, two minutes moderate) which tired me out fairly well. Then I made some frozen yoghurt from soya Greek style yoghurt and raspberries (with a dash of honey) that my daughter devoured. I had a bowlful with lunch which was as follows – 


  • 110g of chicken breast with 90g lettuce, 1 tomato, 1/2 cucumber and 1 slice of buttered soya and linseed bread. 
  • Peppermint tea and 500ml water. 
  • 1 small bowl of raspberry frozen yoghurt. 

As the pool was closed we decided to go to the park instead. It was snowing this morning but by the time we got to the park it just looked like rain. So after an hour or so of splashing in puddles and sliding down slick half pipes we headed home. I quickly gave the house a once over (leaving most of it to my boyfriend) before putting on my running shoes and heading back out into the cold before dinner. 

I jogged for two minutes and walked for one minute for a total of thirty minutes in the FREEZING cold before heading home to see that my pedometer was happy to tell me that I had covered 4045 steps! I only went round the block! Feeling good but a little bruised I cooked dinner for the troops (pasta and chicken which smelled so good!) and made my own dinner simultaneously  It felt a little strange but after the horrible breakfast I had I was looking forward to it. 


  • 170g salmon steak (pan fried with lemon juice then oven baked for five minutes) and 100g of steamed vegetables (carrots, broccoli and cauliflower). 
  • Lemon and Ginger tea and 500ml of water. 

Now that all my meals are gone I have four dried apricots saved up for later when I am watching television or reading my book. I am feeling really pumped and optimistic today (even if my shins feel like they are splintering) and can honestly say that TODAY genuinely felt like the first day of the rest of my life 🙂 

Breakfast Battle!

I guess I am like a lot of people in that I don’t usually eat breakfast. Aside from the black coffee (which is one vice I’m not yet ready to ditch and at two calories a cup as long as I couple it with water to combat the caffeines dehydration, I should be okay) this is the breakfast I had before me –

  • 100g porridge, with 150ml soya skimmed milk.
  • 1 tbsp dried cranberries (that I mixed into the remaining gruel!)
  • 1 kiwi.
  • 1 blackberry soya yoghurt.

It doesn’t look like a lot of food but halfway through the gruel, sorry I mean porridge, I really started to struggle. In the end to combat the unpleasant texture (it tasted okay) I mixed the last few mouthfuls with some yoghurt and managed to get it down. Phew!

I couldn’t manage the kiwi but have it on standby for later in the morning. It seems to be snowing at the moment so I am happy that I am headed off for a swim with my daughter at lunch time 🙂

I am looking forward to lunch and eating some solid food! But for now I feel full and ready to go! Bring on the housework. That counts as exercise right? 😛

As D-Day Approaches

So I read somewhere that sharing your thoughts and experiences when trying out a new health plan is the most tried and tested way of making it stick. So in those few tender weeks before anyone notices how much weight you have lost, before the “Oh my God! You’ve lost so much weight!” comments come to boost your ego and before you fit into that pair of size twelve jeans you have been holding onto for five years – the only person you have to talk to is yourself, and as an experienced blogger/vlogger, I know the how great doing just that can be. 

So what are my goals? To lose five stone by the end of the year. Seems simple right? What happens if I lose five stone before the end of the year? I get a pizza and I celebrate 🙂 Just kidding. I will set a new goal and work to maintain that. 

At the moment I am just under fifteen stone (which seems very heavy seeing it written down in front of me :O) and my goal is to get to just under ten stone, which according to the doctors, will put me in the healthy category for my height and age. Is being overweight my only vice? No. I also smoke and as my username would suggest, spend a hell of a lot of time slumped on my sofa reading and living a generally sluggish life style. But all that is about to change. 

On Monday 14th January 2013 I will embark on my own weight loss plan. I have put a lot of time and effort into making sure it is right and will serve me well (as well as spending the past week saying goodbye to food that makes me smile :'() and can honestly say – I am kind of looking forward to it.

So my plan is –

  • To follow my food diet plan as closely as possible, which should be the basis of my weight loss.
  • To exercise for thirty minutes daily (at the moment I have split this exercise between ten minutes of cycling in the morning on my stationary bike, procured for this endeavour  and twenty minutes walking) everyday. 
  • To drink at least two litres of water a day and to cut back on coffee and caffeine in general. 
  • To spend less time worrying about my WEIGHT and more time worrying about my health. 
  • To adjust my sleep pattern and lifestyle to work hand in hand with the task set. 

So there it is in black and white, a contract signed by myself before you all. I have one glorious day left to revel in my sinful squalor before I begin my journey to awesome. For the first week I will blog everyday, in an attempt to alleviate some pressure from my own mind. 

If you choose to read, thank you. If you have any tips, thanks again. 

Good luck…erm…me!